Cancer Crohns Charity was set up in memory of Graeme Fairhurst

One of the happiest days of our lives was 24 May 1979 when our son Graeme was born at Warrington Hospital. He was a happy and loving baby always had a smile and a cuddle for everyone. He developed his love of cars from about 12 months old always taking one to bed with him. I remember the xmas that he would have been about 18 months and Keith making him a garage and at that time Keith worked at Fords so it had all kinds of Ford stickers on it, it was massive Graeme could stand on it and played for hours with his cars, it also didn’t take long for him to figure out how to take cars apart and put them back together again although not always in the right place, this may have gone on into his adult life and maybe this is something his friends today could verify. I think he was better at driving his cars - but he always treated his cars with respect and with a little help from friends kept them well maintained.

Graeme grew up supporting Liverpool football club although he didn’t have much choice as his Dad and his Grandad were red hot supporters, and although he knew a lot about the game and could always argue the toss (and maybe Graeme and my Dad had something to do with the score last Sunday against United we’d like to think so) - but as a child he never really played football apart from the odd kick around on the field at the back of our house with his dad and friends, this was mainly due to him being diagnosed with Crohns Disease which meant he didn’t have as much energy as most boys of his age. He was much more interested in playing with his remote control cars at the front of the house.

Graeme grew up supporting Liverpool football club although he didn’t have much choice as his Dad and his Grandad were red hot supporters, and although he knew a lot about the game and could always argue the toss (and maybe Graeme and my Dad had something to do with the score last Sunday against United we’d like to think so) - but as a child he never really played football apart from the odd kick around on the field at the back of our house with his dad and friends, this was mainly due to him being diagnosed with Crohns Disease which meant he didn’t have as much energy as most boys of his age. He was much more interested in playing with his remote control cars at the front of the house.

At 16 Graeme decided he wanted to play the drums and with his friends Rich, Dave, Matt and Danny formed a band called DITCH (not to sure were the name came from) – and if I was to say the music was loud that would be an understatement – they eventually started doing gigs mainly in Manchester. Chris used to go along as well to do the sound checks and lighting. I remember before they could all drive Keith sometimes would have to go and pick them up from Manchester after a gig and he hated it because he didn’t know his way round Manchester especially at night, but that was Keith’s dedication as a Dad – he was just glad Graeme was enjoying himself even if we were deafened when he practised his drums in the garage.

At 20 Graeme finished college with a HND in Engineering – we were so proud of him because again he had bad spells with his health during his time studying which included a couple of spells in hospital. He then started to write to Engineering Companies for a job or work experience and he felt so lucky when Tuchenhagen’s gave him a chance, he probably never told them this, but he would have been quite happy to work for a minimal wage just to get the experience he needed and when he came home and told us they were going to pay him £13,000 a year he was over the moon. With his new found wealth he started to buy his cars which would be at least 10 years old with big engines and the noisier the better and always Japanese which he could do ‘drifting’ in.

At 25 Graeme Rich and Gary decided it was time they moved out of their parents homes and become independent and get onto the property market, so they bought a house in Burtonwood, not to sure what the neighbours thought about living next to 3 lads but I bet the walls could have told a few stories especially after the parties they had.

At 27 Graeme got the chance to live his life long dream which was to go to America and work. He had applied for a job at Tuchenhagen’s in Portland Maine with the help of his bosses at Warrington and when he got the job he was over the moon, our first reaction was what about your Crohns Disease and your treatment because by this time he was on a new treatment which was an infusion that he had to have every 8 weeks and it was probably the best his health had been for a couple of years (but unfortunately we have since found out that it could have played a part in him getting cancer as it was one of the side effects of the drug – sometimes it’s just as well you don’t know everything) his answer to his health in America was ‘they are probably more advanced and I may get better treatment’ what could we do he was going to live his dream and he was so happy – prior to actually going he built up a friendship with Mike McVetty via e-mail who he would be working with and Mike treated him as a younger brother and welcomed him into his family which we will always be grateful for because it made it much easier for Graeme to settle down and it made it easier for us knowing someone was going to take him under his wing. Graeme then soon made other friends with the same love of cars and trucks as him and he settled down to a new life in America obviously buying a big car and truck, (Japanese of course) but unfortunately he had only been there about 10 months when he had to go into hospital for his first operation, but he eventually managed to get over it with the help of his family and friends and carry on enjoying his life there.

But then in April 2008 he went into hospital again which should have only been for about 10 days but they found another blockage in his colon so he ended up having another couple of operations he was very ill and was in hospital for about 4 weeks. I think this was when he realised he should come home which was a big decision because he had told us previously he really wanted to stay and settle in America. He came home at the end of June 2008 and quickly recuperated and started to gain good health and look for a job. After a couple of job offers in October one of which was from Tuchenhagen’s in Warrington which he decided to take and was due to start work on the 3 November and on the 31 October he went for a routine visit to the Hospital when he was told he had a tumour in the pelvic area which was cancerous and too big to operate on unless they could shrink it with radiotherapy or chemo, they told him it had probably been there a couple of years but nobody had spotted it. As parents we were devastated for him he was just getting his life back on track again, looking forward to earning money and doing ‘drifting’ with his car how much was Graeme supposed to take – when Keith asked him how he coped he told him ‘at least I have my eyesight my Grandad didn’t’ we never realised how much he must have thought about my Dad not being able to see. Graeme had to postpone taking the job at Tuchenhagen’s so he could start his radiotherapy and Chemo treatment, and we will always be grateful to Tuchenhagens’s for keeping the job open because we think that kept him positive whilst having his treatment. Graeme started back at work in April this year just doing 4 days while he still had to have another course of Chemotherapy, some nights he would come home tired but he was just grateful to be working again. Then in July he had another scan and the tumour still hadn’t shrunk enough to take out so they were going to try him on a new type of chemo, but unfortunately he started to become ill around the middle of August, we just thought it was a blip to do with his Crohns and that when he started his new treatment he would be ok, but it wasn’t to be, they even opened him up again in September to see if they could do anything for him, but everything had all gone to far with the cancer into his kidneys and even his lungs, but we still tried to be positive and hope that when he came home things would improve. But when he told us his body was shutting down and that he had had enough of hospitals and operations we knew deep down he didn’t have long left. We tried to enjoy those last few weeks at home with Graeme we did a lot of crying but some laughing as well, he’d even have a joke or two with the district nurses who came every day I remember he had to have his blood sugar taken as they thought he might be diabetic and when told the test was ok he said to the nurse “so it’s not life threatening then” this was when he knew he only had a few weeks to live.

His last few days were very sad as he started to lose his sight which to him was worse than anything he had suffered and we are just grateful that after all the suffering of the past 8 weeks he passed away peacefully.

As Graeme’s parents we would just like to thank all his friends and colleagues who were there for him and although he only had a short life he told us he had enjoyed it to the full - we would also like to thank everyone who has made comments and put pictures on facebook in his memory there are so many there that we will treasure of him looking so happy and enjoying himself.

Graeme we just want to tell you that you were so brave especially all those years you spent in and out of hospital which we know you hated – but now you are at peace and won’t need any more operations I hope you manage to find a car with Granddad that you both like and spend your time ‘drifting’ around good night god bless – love you always mum and dad xx

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